Stargate SG-1 Fiction

The following story was inspired by the many references to "The Wizard of Oz" used on Stargate SG-1. The accompanying "Ozzie" photos were generated in Photoshop. MGM owns the originals. I'm only playing with them. No copyright infringement intended.

Click on the "Ozzie" pics for a larger view. Okay to copy the "Ozzie" pics for your personal enjoyment, but please do not use on another web page or link to directly from this site.

Once upon a time, there lived a pretty, young scientist named Dorothy. One day, while Dorothy was performing experiments on a strange, alien device discovered in Egypt, a water-like vortex suddenly shot out from it, and a shimmering wormhole opened up. So convinced that this wormhole was a portal to another world, Dorothy stepped through and soon found herself in a wondrous land called Oz'mat.

The first person Dorothy met was Glinda, the queen of Oz'mat. The beautiful queen welcomed Dorothy wholeheartedly, but was unable to answer any of her questions concerning the portal which had brought her there. She advised Dorothy to go see the great and powerful wizard named Thor who lived in a castle near the edge of the woods at the end of a yellow, brick road. Thor was a being of vast knowledge and he would undoubtedly be able to answer all of Dorothy's questions and assist her in returning to her own world.

While journeying down the yellow-brick road, Dorothy met several other individuals along the way. She persuaded each to travel with her to seek the great Thor's help. Among them, was Scarecrow, a likable but dimwitted man made of straw. Scarecrow was so dumb, that each time Dorothy tried to explain quantum physics to him, his eyes would glaze over and he'd have to stuff extra straw into his ears to keep what little brains he had from seeping out. However, after a brief visit with Thor, Scarecrow became surprisingly intelligent, with a wry sense of humor. No, he still did not understand quantum physics, but now, when such complex matters were discussed in his presence, he no longer had the sensation that his head was about to explode.

Another person that Dorothy met and brought along with her, was Tin Man. For a life form comprised entirely of light-weight metal, Tin Man was nonetheless highly educated and well-versed in many different languages. He possessed a very kind soul and had, in the past, always tried to find the best in everyone he met. Unfortunately, he suffered from a badly broken heart caused by many personal tragedies in his young life, and was close to giving up on himself as well as all of Oz'mat-kind. The great wizard Thor gifted Tin Man with a bright and shiny new heart which quickly eased his pain and allowed him to once again freely offer his friendship, understanding and compassion to those fortunate enough to cross his path.

The next being Dorothy encountered was Lion, an angry beast who leapt out of the bushes and threatened to attack. Lion had been raised to believe in certain untruths and disliked anyone who did not believe as he did. He was quite fierce and terrifying, but Dorothy did not fear him. Instead, she bravely challenged Lion's beliefs and convinced him to travel with her to see the wizard. Thor, not only showed Lion the truth about his misguided beliefs, he also helped the beast to bring to light his warm and fuzzy side.

After Thor helped each of Dorothy's new friends, he patiently explained to her all that she wanted to know about the portal. He called it a Stargate and showed her the one he had in his own castle. He told her about all the worlds it could take her to. He also warned her of the dangers she was likely to encounter, and bid her to tread carefully. Thor welcomed Dorothy to visit again, then pressed the magical symbols on a pedestal to open a wormhole in the Stargate. After saying a fond farewell to her new acquaintances, Dorothy stepped through the Stargate and returned from whence she had come.

The End of that tale but not the end of this story. Read on below.

"So what is your opinion, DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked when he saw that his friend had finished reading the pages of the notebook he'd been given.

"Well, Teal'c, uh...it's actually quite good for your first attempt at creative writing," Daniel replied as he returned the notebook to the Jaffa. "I'm very impressed."

"Thank you."

"You must have really liked that "Wizard of Oz" video Jack gave you."

"I did indeed. Except for the flying monkeys. I found them rather disturbing."

Daniel grimaced knowingly. "It's been a while since I've seen the movie, but yeah, those flying monkeys kind of creeped me out too. So, how many times have you watched the movie now?"

"Three. Colonel O'Neill considers it a moral duty for every individual with access to a TV and VCR to view "The Wizard of Oz" a minimum of five times."

"Yes, but I don't think he intended for you to do it all in one day."

Teal'c tilted his head thoughtfully and responded, "Perhaps not. But I do not mind. Interestingly enough, some of the many strange things Colonel O'Neill often says, now makes sense to me."

Daniel chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I suppose if you watched enough movies and TV, everything Jack says would eventually make sense. But, just one thing about your story."

"Yes?"

"I don't imagine you're too familiar with the word 'plagiarism,' are you?"

"No. Should I be?"

"Well, I suppose as long as you don't have any plans for publishing your story anywhere."

"None whatsoever. I merely found writing to be a rather relaxing diversion."

"Good. Well, in that case, keep up the good work. I'd love to read more."

"Thank you, DanielJackson. I shall leave you to your translations now. I'm off to see the wizard. Yet again." As Teal'c left Daniel's office, he could be heard whistling the tune "If I Only Had a Brain" as he strolled leisurely down the hallway.

Daniel smiled to himself and shook his head in amusement. He then turned his attention back to his work, attempting to concentrate on the translations he'd been working on before Teal'c arrived. Unfortunately, any serious thoughts he'd had were being pushed aside by images of colorful munchkins, wicked witches and four mismatched friends skipping arm-in-arm down a yellow, brick road. Realizing that he also had yet to reach his required minimum viewing of the classic movie, Daniel put down his pencil, closed up his books, then left his office to go join Teal'c in his quest to see the wizard.

The End