Summary: This is what happens when you hear one too many Christmas songs on the radio. Sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer."

Nicholas, the melancholy vampire, led a very lonely life.
And if you ever met him, you would understand his strife.

All of the other vampires used to laugh and call him names.
They thought him somewhat stupid, for wanting to play mortal games.

Then one dark and dismal eve, Natalie came to say,
"Oh, Nick, you're my special knight. Let me be your guiding light."

And how the vampire loved her, as he shouted out with glee.
Nicholas the melancholy vampire, seeking his mortality.